Don’t tell me! I don’t want to know. I can’t cope with that. You want me to listen to you? To glimpse a shadow of hope? No, I don’t want hope. I won’t let it in; I can’t take that risk. My hope has gone. It was crushed with my son. As his body was beaten and tortured so hope was cast out of my soul. As the nails were hammered through his flesh, with each thud, my heart shrank a little more. I can’t take any more; don’t tell me these things. I’m covering my ears. Go away from me.
Blessed. He said I was blessed. The angel said I was blessed to have found favour with God. And how did my blessing takes its form? It found me kneeling at the foot of a cross as life drained from my son’s body. With each agonised breath he took, I gasped for air for him. I called upon God to send his angels, to move heaven and earth to rescue his son – my son. I beat upon the ground and screamed out to God, ‘For this? This is why he was born? No! Where are you?’
No, go away, I won’t listen. John, why are you letting them talk to me like this? Haven’t I been through enough?
I remember. Many years ago, an old man said a sword would pierce my soul. Now I know what he meant. On Friday that sword was thrust through me and twisted till I could bear it no longer. My son is dead. Don’t tell me otherwise.
xxx
5 comments:
This is definitely the season for looking deep within ourselves, isn't it? We all get so caught up in day-to-day survival we so often lose sight of what is TRULY important, the reason for eternal Life itself. I hope you have a very blessed and happy Easter, Liz...the dogwoods are coming out in full bloom now with the sunshine and heat we've had the past few days here in Portland. They always come out right at Easter...there's such a lovely poem about how they signify the crucifixion. Hope you're enjoying some lovely warmth in your corner of the world this weekend, too. (((HUG)))
It is amazing that the lessons I have been taught (and teach) over and over come to life through a different perspective. It is sometimes easy to forget how Mary must have suffered too. Thank you for reminding me. Happy Easter, Liz.
Very well written! A+.
(I may not agree with what you say, but I will . . . etc etc.)
Yes, beautifully written, Liz.
Thoughtful and truth-seeking Liz.
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