a bit more

I was driving to the gym tonight (do you like the way I casually drop that in?) when I spotted a convertible mini with the number plate X30 FUN. As I passed I couldn't resist having a peek at the driver. My first thought was that he looks less like a fun man and more like a depressed walrus. Then I thought, 'No, that's not fair. There might be any number of reasons for the apparent anomaly.'

He might be driving his wife's car and it might be the way she gets her fun that has made him so grumpy.

The number plate might have been a present from his wife and he has failed to spot the irony in the same way that he has failed to notice the divorce papers lying on the hall table.

He might really be the life and soul of the party in a Jack Dee sort of way.

Or he might just be a miserable so'n'so.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I signed up for Weightwatchers last night. I've used Slimming World in the past but I have Weightwatching friends and misery loves company.

One of the first things I had to do was a short quiz to determine which plan would suit me best: NoChoice or NoPoint. The first question was: do you struggle with snacking between meals or is having a large plateful your downfall? Um, yes, both.

I forgot to mention that the night before Younger Son and I had chip shop chips as a pre-diet blow-out. And they were horrid! I even left some chips and I am the one who can normally be relied upon to clear everyone else's plates of chips.

Then today, day 1 of the new diet, my uncle took me out for lunch. He asked me to go round so he could show me 'where things are'. He said, 'I've had cancer; I've got a heart problem; and I'm 80. You should know where everything is just in case.'

I pointed out to him that the thing that was likely to kill him was the gallivanting he does with any one of a number of widows. But that's the way to go.

Once we'd finished with formalities we headed off for the restaurant. I was well-intentioned. I had crab for starters - a whole shellful but just meat with a very little fruit dressing on a bit of salad - followed by warm chicken salad. I really intended not to eat the bread roll but they had warmed it specially and the butter did look awfully tasty. When she brought out the dessert menu I said, 'definitely no, thank you.' But my uncle pointed out he didn't take his only niece out for lunch often so I had to have some. I couldn't argue with that, could I? So I had bread and butter pudding. With cream.

But since lunchtime I've been good.