Children and animals

Once again cleaning has inspired me to offer some advice.

If you have children or animals, or plan to have either, do not buy a cream-coloured sofa. In fact, unless you are very posh and would never consider sitting on a sofa in mud-caked trousers or eating beetroot/curry/chocolate anywhere except at the dining table, do not buy a cream-coloured sofa.

Did you notice that I dropped in the fact that I am cleaning? In spite of being poorly. I am such a martyr to housework. Dust, dust, polish, polish, my fingers were five inches longer before I took up housewifery.

There are people who like cleaning; can you imagine that?

I think I am becoming a semi-colon addict. 'My name is Liz and I'm a semi-colonist.' The hardest step is acknowledging it, they say.

I have to avoid the man who works upstairs (not here but in the bookshop) as I made him have his sign replaced. He had paid a lot of money for it too but it upset me. Imagine looking out of the window and every time you did you were greeted by 'independant'. Urrrggghhh, it makes me shudder just to think of it.

His partner used to play rugby for Wales (once or twice). Rugby players are very big, I find. You don't always get a proper impression on the television because they're surrounded by other rugby players.

Ah, well, with the thought of rugby players dancing in my head I will return to cleaning.