At times during the last few weeks I even dared to hope Labour might win. Realistically I expected them to lose but that it would be close. So when the exit polls last night forecast a huge majority for the Conservatives I didn't believe it.
How accurate can a nationwide poll of 20,000 people be? I consoled myself with the answer, 'not very.' How wrong I was.
I woke about 3.30 and couldn't get back to sleep properly. Husband was coughing, the vent in the bathroom was banging in the wind, and my mind was tossing. I got up eventually at 5 just as
Denis Skinner, a trouble-making Labour MP who'd held his seat forever, lost it, taking the Conservative total into the number for an outright majority.
Apparently it was mostly about Brexit - get Brexit done, the Tories' catchphrase - and not liking the Labour leader, Corbyn.
The most hopeful thing I can take from it is the idea, that one of the political analysts suggested, that Boris Johnson will now be secure enough to take a more central stance in order to unite the country. He's going to have to do something with the Scottish Nationalist Party winning Scotland, opposing Brexit, and wanting independence.
Wales, sadly, turned largely blue apart from the red wall stretching from Llanelli across the coal valleys.