Thursday, August 22, 2019

WARNING non-explicit chocolate post

Today I am considering a piece of male anatomy but to avoid being targeted by bots, weirdos and advertising I decided I'd better not use the correct term for it - or any of the familiar euphemisms. This left me with a tricky decision: what to call it.

Every word that came to mind would undoubtedly have led to you, dear readers, suggesting I should seek help. So in the end I concluded it would have to be a word that I wouldn't mind receiving adverts about. And the word I am choosing is ... drum roll ... chocolate.

Please do not read anything into this!

So, anyway, why am I writing about chocolate? Well, I am delighted to be taking part in a Blog Blitz run by Claire Baldry, founder of the Books For Older Readers website. Yesterday on my writing blog I wrote about the importance of libraries and today I've included an excerpt from my first novel, This Time Next Year.

In the excerpt Alison, the star of the book, is discussing with her best friends, Pippa and Bev, the number of chocolatey partners they have had. 

Pippa says, 'Men are so sensitive about their chocolate,' to which Bev replies, 'And goodness knows why! Once you've seen one, you've seen them all.'

In the shower this morning I suddenly wondered if that were true. I have a vague recollection of a series, probably light comedy, we watched where the fact that one of the men had an exceptionally large chocolate was a standing joke. I can't remember anything else about the show and daren't google it. 

I asked Husband a) if he remembered the show; and b) his opinion.

He said a) it does ring a bell; and b) some men have bigger chocolates than others. He added, 'And I probably have more experience than you as I used to be naked with thirty men every week.'

That is definitely a better sample poll.

(Why is it that in everything I am writing I am hearing innuendo?)


Debra She Who Seeks said...

You have ruined chocolate for me. RUINED IT. lol

Liz Hinds said...

Sorry, Debra!

Anonymous said...

Tricky subject, chocolate, Liz. I would not take information from a shower unless those people were doing something with their chocolate other than just cleansing.

I don't want to be taken as wonton woman or a braggard, so I shall remain anonymous if you allow me that privilege. I have observed a difference of at least a factor of 4 or 5 in the size of chocolate bars. Truly, a tiny bit of chocolate bar can fill that chocolate craving just as well as the whole giant bar. Chocolate appreciation is in the brain.

Anonymous said...

So lady, you prefer your chocolate brown or white?

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Which is most given up for Lent?

nick said...

I don't know why so many men are obsessed with the size of their doodad. As husband says, some men have bigger doodads than others. So what? There are thousands of much more important and interesting things than male anatomy.