Friday, June 01, 2018

How I set off for a funeral and ended up in tesco

Funerals and me. We don't seem to have got it together of late. Last funeral I went to I was accidentally ready to go to one hour early. This time I got both the time and the name wrong.

I had it in my head that the funeral was at 1.00 pm but because the traffic was horrendous, even though I'd allowed plenty of time, I arrived there late.

I was wandering around pathetically when a gentleman asked me if I was okay and I told him what I was there for.
He shook his head. 'There isn't a cremation at 1; the next one is 1.30.'
'Oh,' says I 'perhaps that's it then.'
'Let's go and look at the list.'
I follow him and he asks what the name of the deceased is. I tell him and he consults the schedule. He shakes his head again. 'No-one by that name today.'
I must look perturbed as he goes on, 'Perhaps it's a burial? That's next door.'

I drive down to the cemetery but the car park is empty and there is no sign of life of any sort.

I phone Husband and guide him through the task of looking up old messages on Facebook for me. Eventually he finds the relevant one. 'June 1st ...'
'It's June 1st, isn't it?'
'Yes, June 1st at Margam Crematorium ...'
'Yes, that's where I was.'
'At 2.30 pm.'
Silence.
'This is why I love you,' Husband says.

What on earth can I do in Port Talbot for one and a half hours? Go to Tesco obviously.

Back at the crematorium I join the crowd waiting for the 2.30 service. I don't see anyone I know and I glance surreptitiously at the order of service the woman next to me is holding. I recognise the photo but realise that he must have taken his mother's surname not his father's. Success.

As for the funeral, a young man lost too early. As the minister leading the service said, 'He wasn't a saint but he loved and was loved.' That's as much as any of us can hope for. 

Paul might have believed that death had lost its sting but it doesn't always feel like that.









1 comment:

nick said...

Making the arrangements for a funeral certainly tests family unity to the limit. We're currently discussing my mum's funeral and fortunately we all seem to be in agreement over what's appropriate. I can imagine the tensions if everyone has different ideas.