Monty, one of our leaders, said, 'The good thing about your articles in The Bay magazine is that they're not too long and one page is mostly photograph anyway.'
'Um, thank you, Monty,' I said before I slapped him.
There's a man who often drops into Zac's but doesn't usually stay for the bible study. He's always clean, smart in his way, and when I've heard him speak he's sounded intelligent, or at least, less typical-rough-sleeper. Last night he did stay for the study and at the end he was sitting alone so I decided to go and talk to him, try and find out a bit more about him.
When my gran was in a nursing home it took me a while to determine which of the normal-looking people were fully functioning: they often appeared with-it until they started talking to their imaginary friends. (Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against imaginary friends. I have several of my own but I tend not to speak aloud to them.)
It turned out to be the same thing last night.
It began well. 'I find some things in Christianity confusing,' he said.
'That's fine,' I said, 'so do I,' and I leaned forward so he could tell me which bits in particular he found puzzling so I could provide the answers and we'd all live happily ever after.
And that's where it all unravelled. We went via tunnels to grandparents to wars. I have no idea what he was talking about but I have perfected the smiling 'um, yes,' technique - with occasional head-shaking and 'oh dear-ing'.
I should stick to making cakes.