The opening sentence of the magazine article reads:
Think sex toys and Good Housekeeping are unlikely bedfellows?
Well, yes, actually I do.
Daughter is having a spring clean prior to moving so she offered me a load of her old magazines including a Good Housekeeping. I took it expecting some tried and tested recipes, home decorating advice, and sensible clothes from M&S. I did not expect the panel to have tried and tested vibrators. (I feel a flush coming on.)
Apparently there is a huge range available including eco-friendly ones, some small enough to fit in a lipstick case (especially handy if you travel a lot and need to go through customs) and those with individually controlled leaves. (No, I don't know what they're for either.)
The one that came out worst in the test was the cheapest and smallest, its only benefit being that 'because it's so quiet, new locational avenues have opened up.' Such as? Boring meetings? Waiting for a bus?
There's even one designed for couples complete with remote control. Presumably designed for the younger generation. I mean, can you imagine it? If you're not trying to change television channels with it by the time it's turned up from under the dog's bed ('I had it a minute ago; it must be here somewhere') you - or your partner - will be asleep.
But, in case you're interested, the winner was Je Joue Mimi, which is 'cute, feminine and feels nice in the palm,' and only costs £64.99.
I think I need a cup of tea.