Sunday, August 10, 2014

Sex and the single girl

I was befriended by a 20-moth-old Staffie today. I say befriended; I mean humped.

But it turned out that I was not really the object of his desire; he was just after the doggy treats in my pocket. He used me then when he'd had what he wanted discarded me like an old wrapper. Leaving me with nothing.

Except muddy shorts.

And a box full of blackberries.
It's an exceptionally good year for blackberries but let me offer some advice to would-be blackberry gatherers.
1) Don't wear shorts. I suspect I said the same thing last year. Maybe next year I will take my own advice.
2) You are not as tall as you think you are. You know those luscious plump juicy blackberries you are convinced you could reach if you just stretched a bit more? You can't. It will end in tears.

The ideal blackberry-gatherer will be tall and trousered. And, ideally, with Inspector Gadget arms.





3 comments:

Anna said...

Milly molly mandy goes BlackBerrying equipped with a long, crooked stick - to hook the high-up brambles! I was telling Elin we should have brought one too.

nick said...

So have I got this right? If you try to stretch too far, your shorts will rip, your legs will get scratched by brambles and you'll topple over and land in a muddy ditch.

katney said...

Grandson Benjie went BlackBerrying this morning before we went to the Museum of flight. They are visiting in Seattle on vacation and we joined them for a couple of days, but we had business that kept us from the blackberries and they didn't share.

BTW, he is much shorter than you are, but his dad has especially long arms for the high ones.