Thursday, August 28, 2008

The art of stick choosing

Size isn't everything, it's true, but length is the most important factor I believe.

Unless a stick is long enough it won't have the momentum (my scientific explanation) to carry it any distance. But weight, or rather, circumference is also crucial.

Too light and it'll be blown the wind's way however I throw it; too heavy and I won't be able to throw it.

A rough end is to be avoided as it will scratch my hand as it flies out of it. Rotten wood is also a no-starter. Literally as it breaks as it leaves my hand and drops in two pitiful pieces on the floor at my feet.

Speaking personally I like a bit of a bend in the end. I feel it gives more power to my throw.

And George likes any stick he can chew.

So you see there is an art to stick choosing. Discus throwers at the Olympics have it easy. They know what weight and shape they're getting and they will have a good idea of its path of motion. They just need strength and any old muscle-bound Bertie can get that. I am of the opinion that discus throwing should be replaced by stick-in-the-wood throwing. This would obviously include finding your stick first. But it would be a far fairer test of mental and physical agility. I shall write to Boris and suggest it for the 2012 games.

An aside
I am not into sport except rugby and I didn't watch the Olympics but 'Ping pong's coming home' has fired my imagination. I know some people have been critical of Boris but can you imagine if it had been Ken in his place? Boris and I might wear different colours politically but I can't help liking him, even if he does think Wales is in England. He's such a buffoon he can get away with that; anyone else would have been first against the wall.


Anna said...

Holly finds her own sticks! But she is always over-ambitious. She pulls off a branch and presents it to me with a triumphant woof. I can barely lift it. I am not the sportswoman she thought I was.

Dragonstar said...

Mine grew up without sticks, but they delighted in shells and small stones. They'd even dive for their trophies! Never wanted to bring them back though - the fun was in the chase.

leslie said...

I'm cracking up here at your choice of words and hints at "something else that shall remain nameless." LOL

Lindsay said...

Love Boris and really really love rugby. Son played for Harlequins before professional era. My Wonky Knee Physio lived in Llantwit Major and I often saw him on TV come on pitch for Cardiff and then for Llanelli Scarlets!

mutleythedog said...

Its a brilliant idea! We should have more things with animal companions and more stuff like housework and DIY things. Like hoovering or putting up a shed...

CherryPie said...

Well bits of England are Wales and bits of Wales are England! I do live on the borders after all and get easily confused ;-)

Puss-in-Boots said...

Dogs and sticks go together but I didn't realise there was such a science to picking them.

Can't wait for the Olympics in London. I believe some of our athletes are starting training for that pretty soon.

Poor Boris...never mind, he's got the Olympics and he didn't have to say anything when he was handed the flag in the Birds Nest.

Amanda said...

rofl! ;0)

alternative olympics if there is a speed nappy changing event I'd get gold ;0)

Aileni said...

Badger was so keen on chasing stones thrown in the sea that she knocked herself out against a rock. She didn't drown but she shifted some teeth.

gledwood said...

"Ping Pong's coming home"..?!?

(thought you were talking about my mouse-like & highly retiring Chinese hammy there...)

Hi Liz how are you?
Thanks for the message the other day

sorry I've not been round
I know you have problems with MY site,
but I've had ones with yours
(shorting out and getting maxxed out so have to restart the computer)... no idea why!

Take care though Liz and have a charming weekend!!!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Very profound. Does Boris really think Wales is in England?

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