Monday, April 02, 2018

Arguing with me

I frequently find myself arguing with me. Able to see both sides and not being able to take a clear view. Some people seem to find no problem and have an answer for everything but my answers always send me back on the cycle. I do hope I am never again called to be on a jury: I am so indecisive. The last person who spoke would sway my decision too much. Unless it were the right decision. But it could be the wrong decision.


Should a woman dress in a fitting manner for the company she will keep? 

My first answer is no. She should dress exactly as she wants to dress.

My second answer is yes. She should be responsible in how she dresses.

But if a judge in a rape case said that he would be thoroughly and rightly condemned: rape is never the victim's fault.

And in most situations I would agree. But if a woman goes into a place where there are vulnerable men, men with problems, mental health issues, socially unaware and possibly naive men, then surely it is also her responsibility to dress in a way that will not give them the wrong idea?

Also of concern is the question of why a woman dresses in figure-hugging cleavage-revealing clothes. The obvious answer is because it makes her feel good and she thinks she looks good. And then we get into the question of why the way that we dress can affect how we feel about ourselves and if our confidence depends on our appearance.

People don't like to admit it but we do care about appearances. We may say the most qualified person gets the job but research has shown that better-looking people get better jobs. And no matter how we try not to be affected we are still allowing the media to influence us. So we're under pressure to look - what society says is - good. 

In spite of all the jolly little sayings people post on facebook about alternative values many of us get what confidence we have from the way we look, from fitting in. But as a christian I know that the bible tells us that a woman's real beauty doesn't depend on outward appearances but what's in the heart. So I feel guilty as well.

So do you see what's happened here? I started with one point and ended up a not quite a million miles away but on a merry little carousel arguing against and for myself. It is no wonder I am confused. It would be so nice to see things in black and white.


nick said...

Rape is never the woman's fault, nothing about a woman "invites" it, it's always the man's responsibility to treat a woman with respect and not see her as a sex object. At the same time, it seems common sense that a woman takes a few basic precautions to avoid "giving the wrong impression", such as not dressing in over-revealing clothing or being alone with a man or men she doesn't know.

Liz Hinds said...

Indeed, Nick. But it sometimes seems to cause offence if one suggests that.