Thursday, February 22, 2018

The egotism of shyness

A few posts ago I wrote about feeling responsible for killing people. I realised today that I blame myself for many things. Most things. To be honest quite often it is my fault but sometimes I'm innocent.

I wonder if it's like shyness. I am shy now and as a child was painfully shy (it's always described as painfully, rightly so) and sometimes people would try to help me overcome it by saying, 'Really it's egotism, thinking everyone is looking at you. When really nobody cares.'

Yes, so that was really helpful adding egotism and guilt to my ever-growing list of faults, but am I doing the same now? Is it egotistical to think everything's my fault? As if the world revolves around me?

Possibly. Or perhaps I should stop thinking so much. 


nick said...

I'm the opposite. I tend to think nothing at all is my fault unless I was quite clearly instrumental in causing whatever it was. Even if something seems to be my fault, quite often other people are involved somewhere along the line so it's only partly my fault. Does that help?

Oh, and I'm shy as well. Join the club. I never know what to say to people unless there's something specific to discuss. I end up mouthing some gormless platitude.

Liz Hinds said...

Perhaps I can move on to the 'only partly my fault' theory, Nick. And the trouble is when i end up mouthing something it usually comes out garbled and senseless as well!

Anne in Oxfordshire said...

You keep saying you are shy so I am going to have to believe you. I lack confidence which makes me shy away from certain things , maybe that is it. x