Friday, September 01, 2017

Maybe not all lies

In November, 2014, I wrote a blog post called The trouble with lies. While decluttering I came across a letter my second cousin, Anne, wrote to me in response to that post. 
traditional Indian doll

In the post I mentioned that my absent father supposedly sent me an Indian doll and later sent me £5 for passing my 11+. I said that I had been told lies about my father (that he and my mother were married but separated and he lived in India) so, when I discovered the truth, I began to doubt that the doll and money actually came from him but were more likely just embellishments to maintain the pretence.

Anne wrote that though she lived away during my childhood she had a clear recollection of her mother (my gran's sister) telling her that my father had sent me a doll and that the family were very surprised. She wrote:
The story is true; your father travelled, thought of you, took the trouble to pick you a present he thought would give you pleasure and brought it all the way home for you. I have no recollection of the money you received but if the first story is true then it is more than likely that the second story is also true.

And this:
What I do know from first-hand experience is that you were loved and cherished by all of us. Margaret was a very special person with very special qualities. I loved and admired her and I still think of her and remember the happy times I spent with her.

P.S. I have added a photo of the Indian doll that I still have.


Sharon Qualls said...

I suppose curiosity about the hows and whys bug you. I know it would me. Nothing you can do about it now ... If you still have the doll, you could treasure it - for someone's thoughtfulness.

Luna Crone said...

I hope you come to peace, with all of this, now. To not, is just going to make you unhappy. Believe that you were cherished, by all.

Annnnd.... Your worth, is still not determined, by whether you were or were not cherished by all. Your being, means that you have worth. Simply by being you. Please remember that.

No one, can give us worth. And no one, can take it away. !!!!

Gentle hugs,
Luna Crone

vivien y said...

That's a very lovely doll, I'm sure it was carefully chosen. People are (generally) quite weird, so difficult to come to terms with old hurts xxx

nick said...

I'm never sure if my mother is telling the truth about things that happened in the past. Since her memory is poor, and since she tends to say the first thing that comes to mind, I suspect a lot of her stories should be taken with a pinch of salt.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Family stories filtered through generations ...
But , given that Indian dolls weren't that easy to buy then , it seems likely that the story's true , and obvious that you and your mother were very much loved .