Sunday, March 15, 2015

Spotty teenagers and bolshy cars

In the course of one day I was judged by a spotty teenager to be an unfit person to have a goldfish and by the car as a poor driver. It's very hard being me.

Apparently the tank we have kept two goldfish in for the last umpteen years is only big enough for one, I don't do a complete water change frequently enough, and, to cap it all, I'm washing the filter in tap water when I should be using (dirty?) tank water, because the chlorine in the tap water kills something or other, the bacteria maybe, that's needed to make the filter work properly. By this point my head was hung so low in shame that I couldn't hear properly what he was saying. (And I wish I'd thought of what Husband pointed out when I got home: the tank water came from the tap too. Are we supposed to buying Perrier water to refill the tank?) 

Then I had to drive to the other side of town in our new still-unnamed car. As I said previously, car has many wondrous features that we still have to discover but one of its delights - according to Husband - is that it has a green environmentally friendly setting. When using this an indicator is displayed showing you how green your driving is, your reward being that it tells you how much fuel you've saved by the way you're driving. Or not. If it goes blue, watch out!

It's like having Husband sitting in the passenger seat permanently.

I'm not that bad.No, really I'm not. It just seems to want me to change very quickly from third to fourth gear. Before I really have time to do it in fact. It's really quite impatient. Not to mention neurotic.

Get too close to something when you're reversing and the car goes into panic mode. The beeps start slowly but speed up and get louder the more you ignore them. And telling it not to worry and that there's plenty of room doesn't calm it down at all.

There must be a switch off button somewhere.


Ole Phat Stu said...

Since it is a Mini, may I suggest the name "Bulldog"? ;-)

nick said...

If my car had a bad driving function, I shudder to think what it would say. Mostly I expect speeding, not using my indicators enough and peering through a dirty windscreen.

A courteous driving function would be interesting. "Okay, stop, let that nice lady out of the side road" or "Stop, let that frail pedestrian cross the road". My journeys would probably take twice as long.

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

I find it bad enough that our television turns itself off when it thinks it's been on long enough ... usually five minutes before the end of a programme .

Katney said...

I truly wish my car had a backup beeper as my eyes do not track in sync when I look over my right shoulder and I see double or have to close one eye and thus have no depth perception. I suppose I would do better in the UK where I would be more often looking over my left shoulder, as my eyes track properly that direction.