Sunday, October 10, 2010

My new career?

I wonder if there's a call for moss strippers with the personal touch.

Although I've already decided to give up being an administrator and writing in favour of becoming a 'Wise Woman of the Village'.

Now I know everything there is to know about herbs I've discovered the secret of life: sex and gingko biloba. So being a wise woman would be easy. Whatever anyone asked me I'd say, 'Are you getting enough sex?'

If the answer is yes then I'd say, 'Take gingko biloba'; if the answer's no I'd say, 'take gingko biloba.'

And if you want to live forever take my secret potion.

(As I know you won't tell anyone I'll share the recipe with you. Take a handful of grated ginger. Mix it with a handful of finely chopped garlic. Throw in a generous spoonful of ginseng and an even more generous spoonful of gingko biloba. Add half a pint of coconut milk, shake and serve chilled with an ice cube into which you have frozen thin slices of chilli. Drink daily until death.)

2 comments:

Furtheron said...

you can certainly come round and get rid of the moss outside our back door :-)

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Which couldn't come soon enough , if I had to drink this often .