Sunday, October 10, 2010

My new career?

I wonder if there's a call for moss strippers with the personal touch.

Although I've already decided to give up being an administrator and writing in favour of becoming a 'Wise Woman of the Village'.

Now I know everything there is to know about herbs I've discovered the secret of life: sex and gingko biloba. So being a wise woman would be easy. Whatever anyone asked me I'd say, 'Are you getting enough sex?'

If the answer is yes then I'd say, 'Take gingko biloba'; if the answer's no I'd say, 'take gingko biloba.'

And if you want to live forever take my secret potion.

(As I know you won't tell anyone I'll share the recipe with you. Take a handful of grated ginger. Mix it with a handful of finely chopped garlic. Throw in a generous spoonful of ginseng and an even more generous spoonful of gingko biloba. Add half a pint of coconut milk, shake and serve chilled with an ice cube into which you have frozen thin slices of chilli. Drink daily until death.)


Furtheron said...

you can certainly come round and get rid of the moss outside our back door :-)

SmitoniusAndSonata said...

Which couldn't come soon enough , if I had to drink this often .