Thursday, September 16, 2010

But what's your motivation?

Before bible study started on Tuesday in Zac's I asked Sean if, at the end, I could pray for someone. I told him the situation and he said he was happy for me to pray but he wondered what my motivation was.

My first thought was ... bummer. I didn't want to think about my motivation.

So for the second time in three days I sat through a talk/discussion without really listening. I pondered hard. I had good reasons for wanting to pray: the person I was - and am - concerned about needed support. But I also wanted to make a point. And that point was aimed at one particular person who was in the room.

I looked across at that person and suddenly saw a sad, lonely, confused and probably frightened individual to whom my heart went out. I think this person is in the wrong and behaving badly but it's not to me to apply judgement. (Although I can't help thinking judgementally because of my concern and closeness to the other individual.)

We're all covered by the amazing grace given freely by God. I've been forgiven - and am constantly in need of being forgiven - for all sorts of things. What that person needs isn't unsubtle digs carefully composed as prayers but support while struggling through a mire.

I'm so glad Sean had the wisdom to query my motives.

(And in case you think I'm being terribly Christian in this, I should also admit that I'm a little bit scared of the person too!)


Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I understand, Liz. Although overtly I may have denied that I have targeted individuals, I have often pictured a specific person as I have written a sermon. Likewise with public prayers. More than once I have preached to and/or prayed for someone who frightened me. Often I have prayed for those who literally are out to get me. I still do: daily I pray for Sarah Palin, who scares the hell out of me.

NitWit1 said...

Great verbalization of self-examination. I am confronted with these paradoxes every day.

Right now I am confronted with chosing a Life Grouup where I KNOW we will be asked for a ride only a tad out of our way home but 4 children one of which as ADHD and I need nerve pills when I get home. Plus the man begs off the group that he has to work (he just attends the church service.) The woman gathers all the left overs and asks to take them home before we can decide anything.She does not need any desserts....period. Occasionally, we take meals to ill on the way home and she acts offended when we say NO. I am praying hard on this one, as well as my continuing health --stress test tomorroww which I am scared beyond scared about

We do have convlicting convictions sometimes with GOD, don't we..

Ole Phat Stu said...

As a churchgoer you might like this choirpractice video ;-)

Ole Phat Stu said...

As a churchgoer you might like this choirpractice video ;-)

Liz said...

Praying for someone makes it difficult to 'hate' them, doesn't it, nick? It's good advice.

We certainly do, nitwit.

Now that's scary, stu!!