Saturday, September 06, 2008

I lost my husband in TKMaxx

I could see the report in The Sun. Woman loses husband in discount shop. Mrs Heinz (38-26-38) said, 'I only left him alone for a moment and when I looked back, he was gone.'

I walked round the store five times, getting increasingly stressed, laughing hysterically, and being followed by the store detective. Turned out he was trying on jeans. Just as well. I mean if you have to lose your husband much better to do it in Debenhams or somewhere with a bit of class.

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I've been wearing my new walking shoes round the house today to break them in. I'm happy the right one is house-trained now but I only managed to keep the left one on for about 15 minutes before my foot started to hurt. I am having so much trouble with my extra toe this year. I think I will be the first woman to hop over the Rockies.

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Waiting in the car while Husband tied a mattress on the roof I was studying my chin. there's nothing like good daylight to show up your follies or your follicles. I decided I'd follow Dragonstar's suggestion and find out about hair removal by electrolysis. I told Husband over dinner. I said, 'I've made an appointment for Tuesday. Apparently I have to have a consultation first.'
'They'll take one look at you and give you a razor,' Husband said.

And if he thinks he's getting any cake tonight, he can think again.

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I am a little perturbed by Gattina's comment on my Photohunter post. She said, 'I am disappointed. From you I expected a picture with a string around a neck, lol !'

What kind of impression am I giving people?!!!

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This is the cake Husband isn't getting - what do you mean that wasn't the sort of cake you were thinking of?! It's my own creation! Sort of. I took a recipe for teisen lap (Welsh cake on a plate) and mixed it up a bit and added apple. I'm about to go and eat it now with a cup of tea while I watch Midsomer Murders. And then I'm going to try and stretch my left shoe.


Katney said...

I don't generally lose my husband in a store because we carry our cell phones. "Where are you dear? Oh, in pet food? okay meet me in the camera department."

I did lose my mother-in-law once--well, twice in one day--years ago. It was before cell phones.

Alice - I Was Born2Cree8 said...

Considering your husbands "razor remark" I'm surprised you bothered to look for him when he was lost, vs running in the opposite direction. Hahaha. I lost my husband once, many years ago now. It wasn't easy, but if you work hard enough at it you finally manage it. LOL.

That cake looks good to me. I guess most people think of another kind of cake when they read that word... the fluffy kind with sugar icing all over it. Yours is more like we would call a 'coffee cake', and I'd love a big slice with my tea.

Dragonstar said...

I keep trying, but losing them isn't easy. Not a good idea, either, as he's my lift home!

Katney's right, mobiles are sooo useful.

Yours likes to live dangerously, doesn't he? He must be absolutely sure that you love him!

Anonymous said...

Dont lose him whatever you do. I did.

leslie said...

You know I'll be here to catch you as you hop over the Rockies. Can hardly wait!

CalumCarr said...


"What kind of impression am I giving people?!!!"

We only know from what you tell us. but, methinks, you know perfectly well and you manage your image well.

Am dismayed at the dreeping sexism in the comments re managing to lose husband if you work at it. :-) I tell you if we men wrote the equivalent about women we would ahve string (or rope" round our necks.

mrsnesbitt said...

Hey dont get me started! Your husband buys his own clothes???????


You joke??????

What he does really????

PHEW! Collapseing here!

CherryPie said...

I agree, after all that you should keep the cake for yourself ;-)

mrsnesbitt said...

Hey Liz, just posted more stuff on the Aga, hope you enjoy reading it!

Dragonstar said...

Liz, I've an award for you. Come and collect when you can.

Anonymous said...

He was in the trouser dept, trying on some jeans?

Is that a euphemism for
"He was in the ladies´ underwear dept. having some long pants" ? ;-)

Anonymous said...

Husband is treading on thin ice - first the 'moo' at your lovely dress recently, now the word 'razor'. Does he think he has 9 lives!

(Great looking cake)

Wendy (Wales)

Liz said...

Katney, a cunning ruse. I never know where my phone is either!

alice, well, he had the keys to the car ...

And they have other uses, dragonstar: I had to get him to check my old dressing-gown for spiders yesterday.

I won't, mutt.

This time next week, leslie!!

calum, you make me sound like spin doctor! Regarding the sexism, I think it shows a number of women who are secure in their relationships and can joke about it.

denise, yes he does! I bought him bright yellow pyjamas when he was in hospital; that was enough to make him do his own shopping in future.

cherrypie, I've only had two tiny slices before the sickness set in. Unconnected I'm sure as Husband has eaten most of the rest.

wendy, he must have used about 12 already!

Alice - I Was Born2Cree8 said...

I must admit that I was not joking about working at loosing the husband. It did take some work, and was worth it. I got my divorce on the grounds of Mental Cruelty, didn't even have to tell of the times he hit me. That was many years ago, and I have forgiven him long ago, so no worries there. No bitterness at all in my words, just secure in my jokes about my past as I am happy in my present. 30 some years later, I am still single... I do like men and enjoy having them in my life. One day maybe one will become more than just a friend. Then, I'm sure we will use cell phones & text messages to find each other in large stores/malls. And 'just in case', I'll have keys to the car too, haha.

moultonmaid said...


I've never done this before, but I had to laugh about your husban's 'razor'remark as I have had a similar experience.

Many years ago when I was 33, I asked my husband if I could have a face lift when I was 40 (I thought that was very old) and he said, "Why wait?"

Don't you just love them!