He can't forgive me for marring his beauty. He broke down in Sainsburys car park today.
I don't have the recovery service card with the telephone number on it.
Phone Younger Son.
I don't have a mobile phone.
Go and use the payphone in Sainsburys
I don't have any money.
Take the voucher that I forgot to exchange for the butter - that I bought especially because I had a voucher - to the Help Desk and ask them for money.
The payphone isn't working.
Ask the lady on the tobacco desk if there's another payphone. (There isn't but she lets me use their phone.)
Phone YS, get number; phone recovery service. Explain problem.
'And this is the white Beetle?' she says resignedly (it's the fifth time we've called them out recently).
'No, the white Porsche.'
'Okay, what model?'
'9 ... 44?'
'And the registration mark?'
'Hello? The registration mark?'
'I don't have a clue.'
Anyway the recovery man finds me and we both stare at the car. 'How do you open the bonnet?' he says, after inadvertently opening the boot. He wanders around while I stand and look fixedly at the bonnet, hoping mind over matter will do the trick.
Eventually the bonnet is opened and we both peer in. 'Can you see the battery?' he says.
I say, 'I know where it is on a Beetle.'
It turns out it's in the boot - under my shopping.
He was a very nice recovery man. Told me what to do next time and I got home fine.
While I was sitting waiting for him to arrive, I counted the number of times I have broken down in Sainsburys car park. I decided it was at least 6, including twice in the petrol station.
Perhaps if I insist on driving old cars I should rethink my refusal to own a mobile phone. But, hey, I get by.
And the lesson to be learned from today: it is possible to exchange money-off vouchers at the Help Desk after checking-out.