It's man that makes me fat

Every year I say the same thing, 'Next time I go blackberrying I'll wear trousers.' Come the next time and I think, 'It's too warm for trousers; I'll be okay in my shorts.' And  when I'm up to my thighs in brambles and nettles I regret that decision. 

All the best blackberries are too high or too low - might have been wee-ed on. But we got a good haul.

Now I know I said I wasn't collecting any this year but what's a girl to do when there's free food available? I think it must be my inner cave woman coming out. Husband is out catching my dinner - brontosaurus steak medium rare, please - and I feel the need to whip up a dessert.

It's a well-known fact that men and women differ in that men have an extra chromosome; what is less well known is the fact that women also have an extra and different chromosome: the dessert chromosome. It compels us towards dessert.

I don't think i'm being sexist in this. I've done extensive research with a wide sample i.e. Husband and me, and have proved it beyond any doubt.

When we go out for a meal I know Husband would rather have a starter than pudding. Well, I'm not going to sit and wait while he eats his starter so I have one too. But I still have dessert. Because, well, it's there.

So, in fact it's Husband's fault that I'm a bit overweight. Or if we strip it back to basics and remember our genetic make-up then it's the fault of man. I knew it couldn't be my fault.

Gluten-free apple and blackberry crumble with oats and coconut

Apples from the tree in Daughter's garden