Tax man: So what was your income from self employment?
Tax man: Three million?
Tax man: Three thousand?
Tax man, hesitantly: Three hundred?
Me: No. Three pounds.
Tax man: What do you do as self employment?
Me: I like to call myself a writer.
The light bulb goes on for the tax man.
Tax man: Ah, I see.
He adds sympathetically: Have you thought of getting a real job?