Last week I felt a bit down. Husband asked what he could do to cheer me up. 'Nothing,' I shrugged.
He thought for a bit then said, 'When stables wanted to sell a horse that was a bit old and down in the mouth they used to stick an onion up his bum. Then he'd trot around the market ring like a jolly youngster.'
I looked hard at him. 'Don't even think about it.'