Monday, January 19, 2015

A delicate subject

Turn away now if you are offended by the mention of poo ...

Okay, so you're sticking with me while I share my ponderings on being 60 and being a woman.

If you recall, the first delivery of post in 2015 brought me an 'invitation' for bowel screening. For those who are fortunate enough not to have yet reached this stage of life it involves taking samples of poo on three different days but within ten days.

Immediately I find I suffer from stress constipation. Do I want to go? Or is it a false alarm? Do I need to be ready with my piece of paper? Or am I just going to wee over it? (This must be easier for men.) And now I've succeeded to collect sample one I know I've only got nine days to do the next two. Now normally that would be no problem; but as I said stress constipation strikes and I'm counting days anxiously.

I am something of an expert when it comes to baby poo; I can deal with dog poo with no problem. So why is it so hard when faced with my own faecal matter?

I am reminded of a quote from Germaine Greer from many many years ago. She said, 'If you think you are emancipated, you might consider the idea of tasting your own menstrual blood - if it makes you sick, you've got a long way to go, baby.' 

I would say I have a long way to go but then I think: why would I want to taste my own menstrual blood? In what circumstances would it be necessary? 

I fear feminists would say I am a lost cause, and not just for this reason. I am not above playing the pathetic female to get out of doing an unpleasant task. Yet the idea that men are inherently superior to women is patently nonsense. As individuals we have different strengths and weaknesses that sometimes mean we veer off the normal graph line for women/men but normal is only the average and who wants to be average?

I've petered out now. I didn't really mean to go here so don't have the thoughts to keep up with my fingers. 

Really all I want to say is 'Poo!'

P.S. I'm pretty sure that in 8 years or more of blogging I've never labelled a post 'Germaine Greer' before!
P.P.S. Dr Stu has sent me a photo of Different Shades of Poop an indication apparently of how healthy it is. If you'd like a copy of the photo just let me know!


CherryPie said...

It doesn't sound like a pleasant exercise to go through...

Trubes said...

I know Professor Greer is a very clever woman or is it 'wimmin'? But being clever doesn't make you wiser than others!
I'm afraid I can't stand her she is so vulgar, I think she makes such outrageous statements to draw attention to herself.
So, IHO she should be ignored at all costs!
There! Speech over !
Di xx

Liz Hinds said...

No it's not, cherrypie! But useful.

Feminism is another of those subjects that i am ambivalent about, Di.

stuart said...

I've done three of these now and I'm afraid it doesn't get any easier

John Gray said...

Lol....well written,
You write well.....even with difficult subjects