In Zac's last night we read how Paul the apostle had seemingly lost his cool and verbally abused a hypocritical high priest. One theory is that it wasprophetic and God was speaking through Paul to denounce this baddy. The bible tells us that God will sometimes give us the words to say, although I find that when I've tried that I've ended up saying something silly or nothing at all.
When I get flustered or I don't know what to say I tend to make a joke or say something stupid. No, I know it's hard to believe that of me but it's true. So as I was driving to hospital tonight I was praying hard, 'Please, God, don't let me say anything inappropriate, stupid or fatuous. (Except I didn't say fatuous because I only just thought of that word.) Please, please, don't let me say anything stupid.'
So I got there, found the ward and ... he wasn't there.
This is often the story of my hospital visiting. the person I am planning on seeing has either been discharged already, sleeps through my visit or, as in this case, isn't to be found.
He turned up eventually though, after visiting had finished, so we sat in the corridor and chatted. I asked him how he was doing and he said, 'I'm hopping mad.' A good start. And it wasn't me that said it so that's a plus.
He was in a wheelchair and his stump was exposed and I was resolutely not looking at it when he began telling me about it and the technology they were using and blood and stuff, and I'm saying to myself, 'Just don't look and keep breathing. Keep breathing, that's it, nice and slowly and don't panic. You're not going to faint or be sick. You can do this.' (Remember I'm the woman who fainted in the optician's.)
Then we began talking about physio and exercise and muscle building and I could breathe easy again.
He's okay. Very tired but determined to walk into Zac's again one day. Please God.