Monday, October 27, 2008

This *!@#!^ dog

Did I say it would take a day or two for him to find a new escape route? It took him 20 minutes.

I wouldn't mind - well, I would - but I was watching him.

He had gone behind some bushes. 'That's okay; he can't get out there. I can go and get a tissue.' I return 10 seconds later and he's gone. There's no sign of him so I fetch his lead and walk down the street calling, 'George!'

I spend 25 minutes doing this. There is absolutely no sign of him. I am beginning to get anxious. He has a tag on with our phone number and I'm sure if someone finds him they'll call us. But what if he's been dognapped? He's a very good-looking dog. He could fetch a good price from someone who doesn't know him.

I get in Betty and begin to drive around our most frequently used routes. I am praying hard now. He's not in the adventure playground. I go back on myself and try the other entrance to the woods. I park and ask a workman if he's seen a retriever. No, he hasn't. I hurry into the field only to be called back by the workman, 'He's up here!'

I rush back and leap into the car. The workman says he's gone down the drive by the top lamp-post. As I drive up George and a little friend appear out of a garden. The friend is a female bull terrier. I stop the car, open the door and call George. He looks surprised. His friend leaps into the car; George stays on the pavement. George gets into the car; his friend gets out. George gets out.

Meanwhile I am desperately trying to grab anything I can get hold of. George and his friend run around on the pavement and then start again. She jumps in, he jumps in. I close the door and wonder if I would get in trouble for dog-napping if I take the other dog home with me. Just as a temporary measure you understand.

I decide that driving even a short distance with 2 dogs jumping around in the back of a Beetle probably isn't a wise choice. I open the door a little and let George's friend out while keeping a firm grip on George's collar. I jump in the car, shut the door and breathe a sigh of relief. George's friend sits on the pavement and looks at us sadly. George sticks his nose out of the window. I close the window just in case. I open the quarter-light and say sorry then drive home.

Judging by the effort George puts in to try and get out of the gate before I can close it after us I wonder if the bitch is on heat. But he's not supposed to be affected by that, is he?


Lindsay said...

Your post reminds me of my uncle's dog called Samuel - he was forever escaping. One day he escaped as usual and my uncle was rung up by the police. Samuel had run about 5 miles to another village, jumped through an open window into a house where three old ladies were having a tea party and he had "rogered" the female pet poodle on the fireside mat in front of their eyes!!!!

Dragonstar said...

Oops! Er... maybe his girlfriend is butch? Perhaps you should talk to the vet again.

Ackworth Born said...


I'm laughing too much to comment!

Anonymous said...

:0) I'm not sniggering at all!!

Vic Grace said...

We had a similar problem with our dog and finally had to find her a new home. It was the best thing for all of us. She now has a huge area to run and I have peace


I hope I have the link okay I never seem to get it right

leslie said...

Do you think he met her "BEFORE" he got the snip? Maybe they have a family already and he's just visiting. My goodness, Liz, I have to thank you for the belly laugh.

although I'm sure you weren't laughing at the time

CherryPie said...

I think the female is just a ploy! George is international spy Dog and that behavior was just a cover ;-)

CalumCarr said...

Did George have his operation on the NHS?

Rather than the snip they've probably removed a kidney by mistake.

Anonymous said...

one of our cats kept humping cushions even though he had been done :)

Jay said...

" But he's not supposed to be affected by that, is he?"

Um .. no, but some of them are, and he is a retriever! LOL!

I think you need 6ft fencing, infra-red linked alarm system and an inexhaustible dog walker. ;)

Now see why i have greyhounds? They're easy to wear out!

Tee hee.

Rose said...

Excuse me a minute, Liz....I have to stop laughing so I can type....

Maybe you could set up a playdate for George and his new friend; I keep feeling sorry for her sitting on the pavement watching him drive off, kind of like Bogie and Bacall.

jmb said...

Sounds to me like it's time to build a dog run else he'll be the death of you.

Anna said...

I like CherryPie's theory best! Yes... he is only playing dumb and undersexed - it's just his cover story...

Ellee Seymour said...

It sounds like you had your hands full. I'd love a dog to take out for walks. I've promised myself one when my younger sons leaves for uni.

jams o donnell said...

Gah he is such a handful!

Liz said...

oh, lindsay! Please don't tell George stories like that!

I am seriously thinking of asking the vet if he took the right bits, dragonstar!

It did feel a bit like Candid Camera, ackworth.

course you wouldn't do something like snigger, amanda!

Thta was a sad story about Annie but it looks like you found her a good home, vic grace.

Leslie, I was laughing actually. Partly with relief and partly at the stupid sitiation I'd found myself in!

George says to warn you that the men in black will be visiting soon and they'll want to know your source of information.

calum,the amount of weeing he does I don't think he's missing a kidney. On the other hand they might have done a lobotomy ...

He ate his bed and that was the only thing he humped before we got rid of it so we can't test him on that, hippy mama.

Jay, greyhounds are easy to wear out?!

It was a bit of a Casablanca moment, rose.

jmb, we are in the process of planning where to put the fences and gates so we can keep him enclosed.

Of course he is, anna. He's really very intelligent.

Yes, you must, ellee. They are worth it. Really.

Do you get this trouble with your cats, jams?

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